I am finally down to the last paper of this semester. What a wild ride it has been. I don't expect my grades to be that fantastic. Especially for some subjects. Studio modules need time to explore and practice, where do I get the time if I spend 3 hours travelling to and fro, and another 3 on lessons??

After hearing what the taxi driver said yesterday, I am really grateful that I have a gem of a girlfriend. Yes, women need security, they are the weaker vessel. But are men the only ones who need to have integrity? Values as such transcend gender roles. Loyalty is not a guy thing, its a human thing. Are women any less human then men? Are their needs(or wants) bigger than compassion, loyalty, truth and these timeless values people have fought and died for?

I believe that both man and woman have struggles specific to their gender. But it is ludicrous to justify whimsical behaviour with female needs. I don't buy that. Character development is crucial to all. A woman with great character can be the lynchpin to a man's success and a woman who can't see beyond her tresses will cause her man's downfall. Ultimately, the woman is the helper of the man's vision. Yes, they are the weaker vessels and grace should be shown. But what has this gotta do with ditching a guy with a pay cut?

The way women see man was an endless sack of gold is no different from how men treat women as playthings. Harsh statement? Not really. They have a common denominator, that is the letter 'I'. Moreover, such misconstrued thinking ignores the intrinsic value of man and woman. But all who we really are is lost in our society now. Not only has our getting defined us, it has shaped the way we see life and others as well.

True friends are hard to find, a truer soulmate is more rare. I resolved to count my blessings as much as I can and I'm truly thankful for her. On hindsight, chocolates can be bad for health after all, generally speaking. I had to type this post, after the taxi driver told me a horror story. No pontianaks, something much scarier- their human counterparts.

PS: Pardon my sardonic wit.

This post is a warm up for my Craft of Writing Final assignment. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be found typing a post half past three on a weekday. I decided to skip most of my classes to focus on my coming project submissions. According to my exam schedule, I only have one paper and the rest would be submissions, including this Craft of Writing assignment.

There is no better way to start on an assignment than to jump right into it. For the novice, that sounded like bad advice. In truth, it is the only way of effective learning. As I have learned from my animation assignments, knowing stuff is good, applying them is better. I must say this approach has paid dividends. It reminded me of how I learnt to play jazz. My playing is still far from acceptable but the approach is good. I suppose I need more time with a rhythm section. More jams and more diving into the unknown harmonic territories. I remembered that was how I learn how to play over the complex, non-diatonic chord changes in 'Wave'. I just kept trying and failing, and with each failure I took away something that I could work on. It was not easy having your ego dented again and again. However, I find that the ego is the musician's bane. It prevents us from trying and failing, in which we will gain more experience and insight. Our egos must be put to death. It(Music) is not about being cool and looking great. Its more about sounding good, its about sounding heartfelt.

At this juncture, I must declare that I have no plans to continue writing on music. I suppose its easier to write about something that's always on my mind and in my considerations.... like my girlfriend.

I would like to discuss good advice vs biblical advice. Normally, I would not use such a formal tone for my blog posts, but do bear with me.

The people in your life may present good advice, but is that advice biblical? I really enjoyed the services with Reverend Rob Thompson.He mentioned about how the early Christians would hear Paul's preaching and search the scriptures studiously to see if there are any discrepancies. It reminded me of how we(Christians) would often listen to people and willingly accept their advice because it sounded right or because they had some status in our lives. What about God? What is his opinion? While He may speak through people in our lives, the onus is on us to refer to the Scriptures for assessing certain opinions. From that revelation, I learnt something about applying the word of God in my life. I have been taking things for granted, partially without knowing myself. Every thought, every word spoken to me hasn't been tested by the Scriptures.

I am not saying that I should be aggressively contesting every opinion I receive. The Holy Spirit brings remembrance to the scriptures. If someone were to say something to me that involves a decision, would I test his or her advice with the scriptures in my heart before I act? Do I know and understand enough of the bible for the Holy Spirit to remind me with? People may be sincerely wrong because we see things from a first person perspective but God sees things from a wider angle.

What really struck me when I read about Joseph in the Book of Genesis was how he had the revelation that it is God who sent him to Egypt. The way he was brought into Egypt was hardly ideal. However, he ended up being the one to save the day.As we read the bible from a different angle, we see the entirety of things and it is easier for us to applaud Joseph and commend him for his faith. Yet if someone in our lives were going through the same trials as Joseph did, we'll not see him like we see Joseph. Because we see things from a first person angle, when we read a book we see it from a different angle, an angle much closer to God's.

I feel a certain sadness when I read of Stephen Gately's passing. I used to like Boyzone a lot. When your childhood heroes start to die off one by one, you begin to be more aware of your age. First it was MJ, now, Stephen Gately. I am listening to the album 'Where We Belong' right now and I can't help but feel melancholic.

I realised that for these few years, I have been rediscovering myself through the things that have happened in my life. I believe that God is leading me to confront my past while at the same time getting me to understand and accept how He has made me. When I was dead in my sins, I couldn't see and appreciate how He meant me to be. Salvation is not just about getting a passage to heaven. It is about being able to live out who we truly are in God.

All these while, I have been trying to be someone I am not, and I've been doing things that weren't meant for me. But He is faithful and has lead me in the way everlasting. I learned that we can be true to ourselves, the person that God has made us be, and still be in sync with the vision of our spiritual leaders.

God doesn't waste our time, much less our individuality. He has a place, time and purpose for us. I feel affirmed. Sometimes we go for prayer meetings, fellowship and all the 'spiritual' activities but we don't recognise our identity in Christ. Subsequently, w return home and our time alone becomes unbearable.

We can lose sight of our identity amidst busyness, choosing to let what we do define us rather than letting who we are define what we do.

Oh well. I must get some sleep. My body isn't taking all the late nights very well.

Well, I have figured out how I should approach my work. Sometimes its not about rushing in to get things done. The attitude towards doing the work is more important than the amount of work done. Besides, I'm in school. I prefer not to see my projects as a way of training my self to meet datelines. No doubt datelines are important. However if you look at how differently projects at work and in school are structured, you will come to realise that projects at work is much more focus. School is the only time I can afford to experiment and yes, fail if need be.

Forget the backlog. I am just going to have fun. I know if I am happy, things get done. Some may call me emotional or volatile. Excuse me, that's how we creative people are. I don't like to work for money. I work for fun, the money comes as a by product of the fun and fulfillment.

I don't care what others say about that. It is not a right or wrong thing. Moreover, most of the people who don't see it this way don't really have a right to comment, because they use more of the right hemisphere of their brain. When you work, everything comes into this focus stream, its a totally different workflow.

The most important thing is to have fun and for me, its about trusting God that whatever he has given me will be put to use. "It is said, the just shall live by faith." I had to make this post because I don't like how I am feeling about how things are right now. It is good to consider other people's opinion, but if I know what I want and it is align with God's will, then I do it. Period. Even if the considerations from people may seem to make sense. Every advice is just a guideline, it may or may not work. There is no custom made advice to every person.

That's why prayer is so important. Throughout these few weeks, God has renewed my mind towards prayer and how it works. For instance, praying engages the spirit man. The flesh takes a back seat and we begin to be able to discern with the spirit. Galatians 5:24 "And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. v25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit."

Prayer is speaking into the spiritual atmosphere. I had a long chat with Wilma and she shared about her experiences with really heavy atmospheres. It reminded me of how sometimes I would walk into a place and feel like getting out of it. There is a spirit of heaviness in some places. It can be felt. No, its not the Z monster. Its the same as a haunted place. We are spirit beings living out a human experience. That being said, each of us carry a spiritual influence.

Matthew 21: 21-22 "...... but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done." Sometimes that mountain is often a spirit of heaviness upon a place. I work better at home than in hall, simply because I do my quiet time in my room and it makes a world of difference. My room in hall was like a bunk, no emotional attachment don't like to hang around inside often. Back to the point, prayer is like speaking out to the atmos.

Prayer is also the acknowledging of God's sovereignty. Prov 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Sometimes we don't get a full picture of things, that's when we should acknowledge that He is in control. Instead of assuming how things are, we trust that He will reveal them in time to come.

Having a renewed mindset makes prayer purposeful and will spur us to pray. I had to go through certain experiences to teach me how to approach life prayerfully.

I am staying up to type this because I know I probably won't get much sleep anyway and I needed to get this load of my chest. It doesn't matter what people think of me or of what I am doing. Sometimes I feel too condemned or judged to live out life properly, but I've learned that I have to move on, never mind if people can't see that I am moving on. I mustn't step backwards in my efforts to get over an event and to return to a healthy mind/soul/body.

I guess the recent spate of events make me think twice about casting a judgment on others. Whether its true or false it doesn't matter. When a person is least deserving of forgiveness, it is when he or she needs it the most.

And thank God some good came out of it.

I wish I could watch movies all day long. Homework is getting annoying and the only thing I want to do is to clear them as quickly as they come. I have much backlog and the annoying thing about playing catch-up is that it is really hard to be happy with it. I like to enjoy what I'm doing, I don't like the idea of working hard for a grade, working hard for fun is more appropriate.

Having a girlfriend does bring about some stability, along with other concerns. I was reminded how James preferred to dress down after he got attached. For me, its time to dress up even more, considering that my darling is so high profile. Besides that, I've always believe that it is important to dress to the best I can in church, out of respect for God and also to the people around me. Our inward self is expressed in our effort to dress up. Back to James' experience, I was pretty amused by how my situation is the opposite of his statement. Disclaimer: James is still a very stylish guy with a great taste for clothes and an eye for a bargain.

My darling is so sweet. She smells of roses and lavender, her smile is like a glowing moon, her eyes are liquescent and expressive. Her voice is unlike any I have heard before when she purrs shyly at praises of her beauty. Her lips are full and luscious. Her strength and character is steadfast, her convictions are inspiring. She speaks with wisdom and truth. A beautiful queen to behold and to hold with my arms.


I am actually typing this post in a lecture, because its raining outside. Its been rainy since morning. I want to get out and play guitar. Now.

Today must be the craziest day of my life. I reckon its the next big thing after Mj, or at least it feels like it for me. For a moment, I thought I was already getting married. The commotion is probably due to the fact that we were mum on everything until we decided to get together. Oh well, I am just glad we aren't featured on City News.

We had a good laugh over the attention we're receiving as we chatted across the phone. How very amusing! Oh well, now our relationship is under scrutiny. I don't really have a big issue with that though, rather, I should focus on stepping into my role as the man in her life. Well, it took God 6 years to prepare me. I can still remember the wilderness experience. While others left, I clung on like a fool. God is good indeed.

She means a great deal to me. I am not in it to get, but to give. I simply accept and love her. Alas, someone whom I can truly share my life closely with. On a positive note, the sort of attention we're getting allows us to be a testimony of our love and God's goodness in our lives. Hopefully, it'll inspire others to love.

I have a promising career with improving job prospects, a ministry, a band with awesome members, talents, gifts abilities and a wonderful girlfriend. But all these are but given by God. He directed my paths and taught me, He gives me understanding and revelations. There was a time when I had nothing and even what I had was taken from me. He gives and takes away, but I will still bless His name. I was actually prepared for another heartbreak, one that never came to pass.

Right. Off to bed now.

You know. I believe that you are my biggest responsibility. But it doesn't matter, because you are my biggest blessing too. As you shared your testimony, I was very impacted. It don't matter who we were, but let's work towards who we can become in Christ Jesus. So glad to have you around Miss White. Still need a handshake of approval though, right?

After hearing John Hope Bryant's short speech yesterday, I took particular notice of one point in he mentioned. And that is: "what we don't love, we will fear." It is an either or situation. That reminded me of Sun. She said love living, live loving. And it sort of confirmed the word I felt spoken to me. If we live for mere existence, we won't be able to maximise our potential, on the other hand, living with too far-fetched plans can lead to unhappiness too.

So what's the third way of living? Live loving the life you have and will soon be living. All the more so that we are Christians. Rom 8:28 gives us the assurance.
I was reminded of how I was at age 17, I had nothing but God. There were others who had other plans and He wasn't really part of it. It seemed good to them because it was practical. They couldn't wait, nor could they endure the human imperfection.

After going through this recent spate of events, I have learned a great deal about handling people, as well as expectation management. Most importantly, I believe in the power of purposeful giving. People are imperfect, they fall short. To err is human. However, to not learn from it is stupidity.

To me, its not really an issue of who's right of who's wrong. Let's sit down and talk it out. I needed time to get a clear mind so that I can handle the outcome whatever it is.

Actually all these while I really thought the past wouldn't happen. It dawned on me that while God did promise the outcome, He didn't promise the means, sometimes the plan A becomes the plan C and vice versa. The first shall be last and the last shall be first. I'll hold that verse close to my heart because every once in a while it needs to be cross-examined. Am I serving with a right mindset? Am I working the relationship in the right way ?We should never think that we have arrived in life, because the destination is not in it.


A new chapter has began. Its time to move on. I already have. There are tons of work I need to catch up on, yea.